Random
by DELEON25
Summary: Just your average DEL's mind of thinking. Enjoy. X3
1. Random! X3

**Hello! It's DEL with a short, hopefully, random and much needed help for me to keep busy. The following are just drabbles of stuff that I spontaneously thought in my mind and decided to share oh so many squabbles. It's fast paced so I hope you guys can get the gist of my short comic like events. Hehe… Anyways…on with the randomness!**

Alone?

Chance: Why did you have to take us in the woods?

Jake: in the dead of night, I must add.

Leon: come on. Don't tell me you're scared of a little dark forest.

Chance: me scared?

Jake: huh?

Chance: what do you see?

Leon: it's probably him.

Chance: who?

Jake: that's just a stupid game.

Leon: I don't know… I researched into it and it seems pretty real to me.

Jake: it's just a stupid game!

Chance: what are you talking about!?

Leon: can you guys quit screaming!

*walking sounds*

Leon: *swishing flashlight* m-maybe we should head back…

Jake: what's the matter? Afraid of a little story?

Leon: I'm more afraid of what the guy does to you.

Chance: I'm still left in the cold here.

Jake: give me that flashlight… *swipe!* Look, there is nothing…eep!

Leon: RUUUUNN!

*upon the trees*

Ezekiel: I love having my way. Best idea I had since letting Leon play that game.

*hears bone popping sounds*

Ezekiel: then again… It is getting pretty late.

Dark Kat's Gift

Dark Kat: excellent. It is finally complete. *opens microwave, takes out dinner, and heads for a section of his lair*

Creepling: *gibberish*

Dark Kat: *sarcastically* interesting. You have yet given me another present. I wonder what it could be this time. *opens box* oh look, shit in a box. How did I not expect this?

Creepling: *yet more gibberish*

Dark Kat: NO I WILL NOT TRY IT ON!

Game Night

Parody: D&D

Ezekiel: You walk down the hall and find a club.

Warrior: *picks up object* a stick?

Ezekiel: it's not a stick. It's a club. You were the one who decided to keep going without buying any weapons.

Leon: I was going to knock them dead with my nakedness. DEATH by indecency!

Ezekiel: no! That's not how this game works.

Nathan: when's it my turn?

Ezekiel: it'll just be a minute. Now Leon…

Leon: I wonder if I can do anything with a stick.

Ezekiel: it's a fucking club! Now then, you are attacked by a Dire Rat. What do you-

Summoner: I summon Pikolokomon! *Pikachu like monster attacks rat*

Ezekiel: No cards Chance!

Leon: and why are you even here?

Chance: Jake said I needed to get out of the house. *shivers*

Ezekiel: I'll kill the rat and give you the EXP. It would have slaughtered you anyways.

Leon: hmm… I tie the rat to the stick.

Ezekiel: what?

Leon: you know. A Rat-flail.

Ezekiel: that's stupid!

Nathan: this is so boring.

Chance: are you sure I can't use cards?

Ezekiel: you know what, the rat gives you the plague and you die.

Warrior: *drops dead*

Chance: can I have his item?

Ezekiel: you know what, you die too! YOU ALL FUCKING DROP DEAD! *storms out in a fit of rage*

Chance: is that a no?

Fall Fever

Leon: It's such a wonderful season and in the spirit of the weather change, here's something to celebrate it if you live in East Texas or with similar conditions. If you don't, you can still read along.

Narrator: Meet Stan McNormalguy. He's your average everyday guy on his way home from work. Today was September 26, a couple days into autumn, and something seemed off. It was still 95 degrees Fahrenheit. The beating sun made him sweat. He had taken a sweater to work and it was black. BLACK! He quickly ran to his car, and upon opening it with simple click of the car keys, he was hit with a force of tremendous heat. Now his clothes clung on to him like a second layer of skin. He started to panic and swiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his paw. The heat was getting to him. Up became down. Left became right. His mind was boiling to the point he can't think and started driving at 10 kilometers an hour with his ASS! Soon, he reached his home and started to cannibalize his family and neighbors and turned their bones into a fortress of darkness and solitude.

Leon: Wearing clothes to assume that the weather changes rapidly in Texas is one thing. But if I catch anyone driving at 10 fucking kilometers an hour, I'm going to yank you out of their car and beat you up with oranges!

You Too!?

Dark Kat: It'll be a shame to finally rid you SWAT Kats. I enjoyed our little stalemate but it's time to finish you rats off once and for all.

T-Bone: Crud! We have to escape buddy!

Razor: I know, but Dark Crud's new weapon has us pinned down pretty good.

Dark Kat: the other thing I'll miss once destroying this city is the screams of that one kat I watch on the big screen.

T-Bone: huh?

Dark Kat: I chuckle so when that ridiculous tom is given a bomb by a pretty she-kat and explodes a second too late to notice his own danger.

T-Bone: you watch Scaredy-Kat? I do too!

Dark Kat: You watch that program as well? I had never met anyone with a similar liking.

T-Bone: you seen the one where the mermaid handed him a bomb when he was escaping the shark?

Dark Kat: a great episode that was.

Razor: I might as well get comfortable…

Demoted

T-Bone: Alright! All the Omegas are either dead or jailed up for good.

Razor: you got that right buddy. The only problem now is to handle the criminal organizations on the ground.

Leon: *through intercom* actually… I got that handled myself.

T-Bone: then…what do we do?

*later*

T-Bone: Ride the Turbokat! Only 15 bucks for five minutes!

Razor: how demoralizing…

**I can't think of anymore right now. I'll try to think of more later since these were thought up in a single shot through. I hope you at least enjoyed them. X3**


	2. Parodies anyone?

**Final Vanity**

**Parody: Final Fantasy XII**

Leon: *dressed as Snow* Hey Light!

Liz: *dressed as Lightning* this ought to be interesting… What?

Leon (Snow): I've been thinking…

Liz (Light): I doubt that, but go on.

Leon (Snow): it's about your attitude. Ever since Serah turned into a crystal, you've been a total bitch.

Liz (Light): what did you say?

Leon (Snow): So I was thinking I would take charge. Let me lead the way.

Liz (Light): there is no way in hell I'll let you lead. I'm on the fucking cover. THE COVER!

Leon (Snow): Yeah… You're also on the cover of Disk One and I'm on Disk Two.

Liz (Light): grr… _LIGHTNING PUNCH!_

Leon (Snow): *IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!*

**Mission: WTF**

_Masters of espionage; the two toms are about to infiltrate to most impenetrable of compounds._

Leon: a mall? We're infiltrating a mall! Who the fuck defends a mall?

Edge: mall security?

Leon: ooh… rent-a-guard Steve is a menacing force. Look out. We're raiding the GAP.

**Wardrobe Fail**

**Parody: Final Fantasy XII**

Leon: oh cool! This monster dropped a rare armor.

Nathan: but you can't wear it yet.

Leon: what do you mean I can't wear it?

Nathan: you don't have the license points to equip that brand of armor.

Leon: like I need a license to know how to wear armor. What else am I gonna do with it? Oh look, DUR! DUR! DUR! Armor goes on foot. DUR!

Nathan: yeah… we Dalmascans really aren't that bright. Without the proper license points, it's a wonder that we can even wipe our own ass.

Leon: well, I can honestly say I'm ashamed of myself. Let's go kill Cactuar until I can stop being retarded.

**Why?**

Callie: oh God… My head… What happened last night? *looks around* Oh no… Don't tell me…?

?: *orange tom wearing a Master Chief helmet* I see you finally woke up. We had a wild night together, huh?

Callie: *freaking out*

-Later-

Callie: *completely dazed and in the shower with her clothes still on*

**Promotional Reasons**

Narrator: _How to be a SWAT Kat!_

Leon: apparently nobody knows how one should be.

Narrator: _First are the types of SWAT kat you want to be. Let it be something completely abstract. Like a ninja with super stealth abilities. Or a big guy with super strong power and usually without a shirt. Or a random kat out for nonspecific revenge. Next, focus in on the name for your SWAT Kat. Don't worry about his real name because nobody would give two shits. In this area, you can be as abstract as you want. Let's call the ninja example Shadow, the big guy Tank, and the random kat will be Leon._

Leon: just hold on there! That is bullshit! I had a very valid reason to kill someone!

Ezekiel: nobody knew who the killer was. You just ran around the city hoping the answers would fall from the sky until said answer started attacking the city from the sky.

Narrator: _what did I tell you folks?_

Leon: I hate you all…


	3. Got Catch 'em All!

**Spammers**

Leon: Zubat use Leach Life!

Leon's Zubat: HP 21/45

Foe's Zubat: HP 16/45

Foe: hmm… I'm going to have to use all my cunning on this next move… Aha! Zubat use Leach Life!

Leon's Zubat: HP 16/45

Foe's Zubat: HP 21/45

Leon: *glaring at foe*

Foe: what?

**Out of all the moves…**

Misty: just face it, my Starmie will never be defeated by your weak Clefairy!

Cody: come on… I have faith in you. Clefairy! Use Metronome!

*Clefairy used Metronome! Clefairy used Rest!*

Clefairy: ZZZZ

Cody: *eye twitching*

**Welcome to the world of Pokémon**

Prof. Oak: Hello! My name is Professor Oak. I am a scientist that studies on the world of Pokémon. But first, are you a boy or a girl?

Leon: seriously?

Prof. Oak: a giiiirl?

Leon: *facepalm*

Prof. Oak: And this is my grandson. He has been your rival since you were babies. Now, what was his name again?

Ezekiel: how could you forget my name?

Leon: hehe… *whispers into Professor's ear*

Prof. Oak: oh that's right! His name is Douche!

Ezekiel: *glares at Leon*

Leon: *smirking triumphantly*

**Light years**

Leon: I challenge you to a gym leader battle.

Brock: you're going to have to do a lot better than a newt and a bird.

Leon: wait… what?

Trainer: I know what you're thinking. I've been here for a long time and in ten light-years, I have never seen him open those eyes.

**Prepare for Trouble**

Jesse: Prepare for Trouble.

James: And make it doub-

Leon: SHUT THE FUCK UP! You have any idea how tiring it is that you guys are after me for my fucking Pikachu? Well you can have him! I have like a hundreds of them! So much I'm tripping ball! Just ask Oak!

-Elsewhere- Prof. Oak: Bitch be trippin' balls!

Leon: so if you could please just take it and leave me the fuck the alone. If I ever see you two clowns again, I will murder y'all.

Team Rocket: *silenced*

Meowth: Meowth! That's right!

**Who else did this…or…?**

Ezekiel: Alright Squirtle! Tackle!

*deals enough damage toward wild Mankey*

Ezekiel: Okay… Go Pokéball!

*tool hits Mankey and transported within*

Ezekiel: *Holds B + Down*

**I want Fraps!**

Leon: If you ever had a revelation when you discovered that Ekans spelled backwards is Snake and the same with Arbok, we want to share more laughs and giggles with you by sharing a very important picture that DEL found on the internet in dialog! Here it goes.

Koffing: Coffeeee!

Arbok: Staaaaarrrrbuuuuckkksss!

Leon: Just adorable!

**Lucario looks like a robot**

Vincent: Oh cool! Dude, I just got my Palkia!

Emanuel: Awesome! I'll trade ya for my Dialga.

DEL: kids these days with their Pokémon.

Cody: Here we go again…

DEL: Back in our day legendary Pokémon were always an achievement when you catch them. How can these Pokémon be legendary if there are always new ones for every generation? Why not just make every Pokémon legendary. Everything was so much better with just 150.

Cody: 151.

DEL: what?

Cody: you forgot Mew. 151 Pokemon.

DEL: Mew is uncatchable! It ends with Mewtwo.

Vincent: Mew-who?

[A/N – If I do ever hear someone say that, they are going to see the awesome wrath of my bitchiness!]

**Good times…**

Leon: *shuffling in the grass*

A WILD POKEMON WANTS TO BATTLE!

LEON WIN!

Leon: *returns to shuffling*

Liz: how long has he been doing that?

Ezekiel: hours.

Liz: maybe he's having fun.

Ezekiel: no one would ever find that fun!

[A/N – Fuck you Ezekiel.]

**That's how they got there**

Cody: Mt. Moon…hmm… Oh cool!

*goes to pick up item*

Cody: huh?

*sees skeleton being pulled out with firm grip to item*

Cody: oh crud…

**Give me a Sixth Generation**

Leon: *crying*

Ezekiel: oh God… What's wrong now?

Leon: The new Pokémon game… It's…It's a sign that they ran out of originality! *sobs*

Ezekiel: Leon that happened right after Gold and Silver.

Leon: oh yeah…

[A/N – Leon and Ezekiel agreeing with something? That's not good…]

**Let's bat…huh?**

Leon: oh gosh… She's a pretty she-kat. Wonder if she would go out with me. Oh my God! She's heading this way.

Liz: Hey, you what to bat-

Leon: I LIKE SHORT SHORTS CUZ THEY'RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!

Liz: huh?

Leon: *facepalm*

**More to Muk! LOLZ! X3**


	4. Tower of Tragedy Part 1

**It's me again! I know I hadn't posted anything funny in anything and this Random fanfiction is my only humor that you guys can deal with. Other than my bad grammar, I hope you guys laugh on this next and very strange section. X3**

*The Tower of Tragedy starts playing – Banjo Tooie*

Ezekiel: Hello and welcome to our show! I'm your host and it's time to paly…

**TOWER OF TRAGEDY!**

Ezekiel: We want to welcome our three players scoring for their lives…err…I mean prizes as they answer the question as best as they can. The first round will consist of random questions I ask within ninety seconds and the loser of that the end of the round will have a tragic leave.

Leon: What do you mean by that?

Nathan: DNV put me up to this.

Cody: How hard is this game anyways?

Ezekiel: I'm so glad you asked me that.

…

Cody: Well…?

Ezekiel: Ninety seconds on the clock and the timer starts when I finish the question. Okay, first question:

_Who does Leon first encounter when he arrives at Megakat City?_

_~ Elizabeth (Liz) Feral_

_ ~ Lt. Steele_

_~ A random guy that had nothing to do with the story plot_

_~ Yours truly, Ezekiel_

Leon: Crap…

Nathan: How the hell should I know?

Cody: A random guy…?

Ezekiel: That is not the answer Cody. Minus two points.

Cody: I wasn't even answering!

Ezekiel: And time is up… Looks like Cody is having a bad start. Second question:

_What do you get when you mix a Red Mushroom with Honey Syrup?_

_~ Roasted Shroom with Honey_

_~ Nothing special…_

_~ Mistake_

_~ Does it even matter?_

Nathan: Okay… Leon you know the answer, right?

Leon: oh sure… Like I do that stuff and mix it with honey. Do I look like a druggy?

Nathan: well…

Cody: hmm…

Ezekiel: You guys are too slow. Fifty seconds remain. Leon and Nathan are tied with Zero and Cody with minus two.

Cody: you big asshole…

Ezekiel: Question number three:

_What is Dante's mother's name?_

_~ Eva_

_~ Lilly_

_~ Who's mother?_

_~ ..._

Cody: E! Fuck you!

Ezekiel: Minus four points!

Leon: what do you have against Cody?

Ezekiel: Do you really have to ask?

Leon: You prick…

Nathan: And look who's talking?

Leon: Like you're any better with Jake when he scared you!

Nathan: He deserved it!

Cody: *eye twitching*

Ezekiel: Twenty two seconds left! Question four:

_What's the best starter Pokémon in the series?_

_~ Pikachu_

_~ Charmander_

_~ Oshawott_

_~ Ditto_

Cody: Ditto is not a starter!

Ezekiel: Minus two more points!

Cody: FUCK!

Leon: Just keep your mouth shut…

Nathan: That's what she said!

Ezekiel: Anymore answers?

Leon: I have to go with Oshawott.

Nathan: Please, Charmander is the one to go.

Leon: What? That newt can't do anything until you actually played Firered or Leafgreen.

Cody: Shut up! Charmander will kick Oshawott's ass any time of the day!

Leon: Why gang up on me?

Ezekiel: Do you want my answer on that?

All: STAY OUT OF THIS!

Ezekiel: well than… The answer was actually Pikachu. Minus two points for Leon and Nathan.

**BRRIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG**

Ezekiel: And that is the end of round one. Let's tally up the score.

Leon ~ -2

Nathan ~ -2

Cody ~ -6

Cody: So what happens now? You failed to answer my question at the beginning.

Ezekiel: Cody… How strong are you, really?

Cody: Um…

Ezekiel: *clicks on button by the podium and anvil falls on Cody*

Leon: Oh God!

Nathan: *gulp*

Ezekiel: Relax… He's going to be okay. This is just a cartoon related thing. Round two is about to begin.

**I seriously don't know what Ezekiel had against Cody… He didn't even give him a chance. The questions are free for you guys to try to answer since I just went to town with them with the help of a friend. And don't worry. Cody is perfectly fine. Television wouldn't hurt their players… Right?**


	5. Tower of Tragedy Part 2

**Don't worry y'all! Cody is okay and will start kicking ass later on in the Random chapters. For some odd reason Ezekiel had something against him… Then again…Ezekiel doesn't like Leon so maybe that could contribute since technically, in some strange dimensional circumstance, Leon and Cody Furlong are related as cousins…**

**I should also mention that Round One had a total of Six hundred and Sixty-six words… Ezekiel is a cruel bastard.**

Ezekiel: And welcome back to…

**TOWER OF TRAGEDY!**

Ezekiel: In the last round, Cody was eliminated for being the loser and now we have our two surviving semifinalists: Leon Furlong and Nathan Prowler!

Leon & Nathan: *leering stare down*

Ezekiel: within the break, Leon and Nathan were so worried on who would be the next victim…err…loser that they are focused and ready to knock the other out of the way for round three.

Leon: Huh? There's a round three?

Nathan: this isn't the last round?

Ezekiel: I guess my words slipped through your minds… You can never rely on tabbies…

Nathan: Prick…

Ezekiel: Sticks and stones. Now round two! I will ask you two questions and test your knowledge. The both of you will start off with ten points. Now the kicker is that this is a survival round. For each question you answer correctly, you earn two points. For each one you get wrong, minus two. The other player has a chance to answer the question the previous player failed to get correct for one point but if that player gets it wrong, minus one point. This round has ninety seconds like the first one and the player with the lowest points will be…disposed of. To make the survival round even more exciting… *press button that locks Leon and Nathan into place*

Leon: Zeke!

Nathan: It's like a horror movie gone really wrong!

Ezekiel: I'm going to love this round. Okay! Now for round two! First question:

_Who does Nathan encounter when he self tours the Enforcer building?_

_~ Commander Feral_

_~ Cody Furlong_

_~ Lt. Steele_

_~ Lt. Felina Feral_

Leon: _huh? What does Cody have to do with Enforcers?_

Nathan: That's an easy one. If memory serves, it's Felina.

Ezekiel: That is correct! Two points for Hufflepuff!

Nathan: Huh?

Ezekiel: I'm saying you look like a badger.

Leon: Hehe…

Nathan: what are you laughing at?

Ezekiel: Second Question:

_Where do Jake and Edge first meet?_

_~ At a Deli shop_

_~ The garage_

_~ At a shooting gallery_

_~ In Ezekiel's office_

Nathan: Shooting gallery!

Leon: Wrong!

Ezekiel: Hey! I'm the host and I say who is right or wrong!

Nathan: So I got it right?

Ezekiel: No. You're still wrong.

Nathan: Huh? How?

Leon: Jake and Edge first met at the garage. It was right after when some guys ransacked the place in search for my father's project.

Ezekiel: That's correct. Leon in the lead with one point and since Nathan got a question wrong…

Nathan: *shocking experience* AAAHHH!

Leon: What the hell?

Ezekiel: Now to the third question:

Nathan: ass…hole…

_In Ulyferal's collection of stories, which one of these is not over Commander Feral?_

_~ Life Changes_

_~ Wolves of Arcanus_

_~ The Art of Being Naughty_

_~ Old Magic_

Leon: Now you stick to SWAT Kat related subjects?

Nathan: Uh…

Ezekiel: Seven seconds…

Leon: Man… I should have paid more attention to Del.

Nathan: I know Life Changes is one…

Leon: Del always talks about how good Uly's stories are.

Ezekiel: Four seconds…

Nathan: I don't know about… GAAHH!

Leon: He even has Liz reading her stories. Maybe I should read those too…

Ezekiel: times up! *presses button*

Leon & Nathan: *look! X-rays* GRAAAHHH!

Ezekiel: How are you guys holding up?

Leon: *flipping the bird*

Nathan: I'm…I'm gonna kill you…

Ezekiel: You guys better stand up cuz we still have fifty-seven seconds left. Now for the next question. Question four:

_Prodigy Down series is one of Nyte Kat's biggest hits. In this fanfiction, Jake is a teenager with horrible situations happening to him that weren't caused by me. What is the name of Jake's father's industry?_

_~ Razor Industry_

_~ Clawson Incorporated_

_~ Pumadyne_

_~ Claw-Tech_

Leon & Nathan: Claw-Tech! What? I said it first! You didn't say it first! I know I said it first!

Ezekiel: You got to love conflict. That's why I enjoy putting other's into them. But you're both correct. But only one of you can get the point. So who will it be?

Leon: let me guess. You have a way to solve this.

Ezekiel: Oh but I do. And it's one I really quite enjoy. Bring her in!

Leon: Her?

Nathan: Wha…?

Ezekiel: Hmm! Really? Well that is bad news… It seems I can't bring her out due to massive spoiler. But I did have a back-up plan. Since this is live, I want to see who will be the first one to confess. It happened quite a while ago. Remember when the gang was playing Truth or Dare and the bottled landed on Nathan. Bad luck to Leon when it was he who had spun that bottle. What was the dare? That isn't the question. I'm trying to see who will confess first before I tell the reading world.

Leon: Grr…

Nathan: You're bluffing! *blushing*

Ezekiel: I know a particular-

Leon: RAAAHHH! NATHAN AND I WERE DARED TO KISS!

Nathan: *bright red*

Ezekiel: Some bro you are. *presses button*

Nathan: *why him* Leon…you're a dick…

Leon: I'm sorry!

Ezekiel: That took a lot of time off our paws. Nineteen seconds left. Next Question:

_Which one of these games was turned into an Anime?_

_~ Final Fantasy XII_

_~ Persona 4_

_~ Chrono Cross_

_~ Kingdom Hearts_

Leon: Oh boy…

Nathan: Hmm…

Ezekiel: Come on now snow tiger… You know the answer.

Leon: Chrono Cross…?

Ezekiel: Minus two points for Leon!

Leon: *again with the shocking*

Nathan: Persona 4…

Ezekiel: Is that your final answer?

Nathan: Uh… Yeah…it is.

Ezekiel: Nathan is correct and has one point!

**BRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGG**

Ezekiel: Times up! And the score for our losers are:

Leon ~ 11

Nathan ~ 11

Leon: It's a tie?

Nathan: Look at that. We got a tie. It looks like we get a tie breaker.

Ezekiel: Yeah… If this were a real show, it would. But since I'm the host… *Presses button*

Leon & Nathan: *Anvils drop?*

Ezekiel: Looks like we had no winner after all. Join us next time as I kidnap the cast from Road Rovers to see how long they last in my game. Until next time, I'm Ezekiel Guiles saying, don't bump into me in an alley. Goodnight!

**Yeah. Didn't end so well… I guess Ezekiel is smarter than we think. I hope to do one with the Road Rovers but that won't be for a while. I just wanted this first Tower of Tragedy to have a surprising twist. I hope you guys liked it and Nathan Prowler will be back on his feet in no time. Cody…? He was beat up enough in The Mix Up so this is nothing to him. X3 DELEON25 out.**


	6. Two More Days to Halloween!

**Want some candy?**

Leon: This place doesn't seem right. I'm sure we've passed that creepy looking tree in the shape of Slender Man like four times.

Slender Man: Hello!

Ezekiel: You said you wanted to go to the better side of the city for candy and this is the only short cut we have. Besides, I don't think that's a tree.

Slender Man: Hello!

Leon: What else would it be? Just look at it. Tall, skinny, limbs everywhere, and no face what's…so…

Slender Man: Want some candy?

Leon: …

Ezekiel: Screw off! You're not even scary anymore.

Slender Man: But I want to be in the parody.

Leon: Fuck no.

Ezekiel: He's already in the parody if he has lines.

Leon: Or, hear me out first, we just ignore him.

Ezekiel: Best idea you had all night.

Leon: Fuck you. So we're going now.

Slender Man: Good-bye!

**I used to go…**

Leon: Hey Edge, want to go trick-or-treating with us.

Edge: Nah… I'm just gonna sit here, on this couch, and read Twilight.

Liz: I didn't think you would read those stories.

Edge: I don't. But it's also a way to pass the time when you don't have a certain tom around.

Leon: Did you lose your spirit to go hunting for candy?

Edge: No. I used to go trick-or-treating until I took an arrow to the knee.

Leon: Ha! Skyrim…

**A Halloween Miracle**

Ezekiel: Today, I'm going to show you guys how to scare the fuck out of your enemies…I mean friends. It's that simple and even Nathan Prowler could do it. I mean…oh fuck it. I don't care. All you need a simple group of unsuspecting friends, a legit hired group of kidnappers, and a rescue team to beat the crap of said kidnappers. I know this kind of thing scares a lot of people since I do this all the time; especially around Halloween. First step is get in contact with your hired kidnappers. Make sure you tell them that payment will be given with a successful kidnap. Next, contact the local vigilante by seeming you're someone else. Don't ever give off your real identity. Next is the best part, contact your friends and meet them up in the specific location of where the kidnappers will expect to find your friends. Nothing says "they match the description" with a perfect location. To have extra fun, make your kidnappers seem like the friendly type and tell your friends that a friend will be showing them where to continue to the 'party'. This is how you know your little play is about to start. Make sure you get front row seats to your little scenario and let the chaos unfold for your enjoyment and watch your enemies…I mean friends get scared shitless. Just thinking about it makes me so jittery with excitement. I wonder if I can pull this prank on Leon this year. That would be a Halloween miracle.

**What to wear…?**

Liz: Hmm…

Leon: What is it babe?

Liz: I can't seem to know what to wear for the party. I chose so many options ahead of time and I still can't pick one.

Leon: *lustfully* You want my opinion?

Liz: *blushing* Umm…

Leon: *whispers* Just. Pick. One.

**Welcome, Stranga!**

**Parody: Resident Evil 4**

Leon: And that's when they send that big ugly troll after me. It was like "grr… I'm mad and barely covered by a loincloth".

Liz: Great… I'm going to look for some herbs cuz you look like a bleeder. Don't follow me.

Leon: That's the point where I started weeping. To lull him into a false sense of security, of course.

Stranger: Pst… Hey. *comes out from the shadows and opens trench coat to reveal weapons* Welcome.

Leon: Great Googly-moogly!

Liz: You know, with the villagers being all bent on destruction, it was nice of them to leave ammo, healing items, and useful information lying around. Not to mention—uh…

Leon: That is the biggest barrel I have ever seen! Is it pump-action? Huh…

Liz: Walking away…very fast.

Leon: Wait! It's not what it looks like! I was just checking out his equipment!

Liz: Don't want to know!

**Ten seconds**

Leon: Thank god! We're almost out of this place. I can see the other side. Now for some trick-or-treating. *fist pump*

Ezekiel: Huh? Something doesn't seem right…

Leon: Yeah. It's you suddenly stopping. We need to hurry the fuck out of here. I'm tired of looking at trees. And the grass sounds like I'm stepping on cereal.

Ezekiel: Hmm…

Leon: What was that?

Slender Man: I'm gonna kill you like in ten seconds.

Leon: Fuck off!

Slender Man: Okay!

Ezekiel: Persistent, isn't he?

Leon: Tell me about it.

Ezekiel: Look a note. "He's watching you."

Leon: The fuck?

Slender Man: Hey guys!

Ezekiel: AAAHHH!

Leon: HE'S KILLING US! AND I NEVER GOT MY CANDY!

**The countdown to Halloween!**

Max: Quick! Halloween parodies and jokes for the next Random chapter! PM me and I'll use them!

Raven: Penis.

Max: Okay… Now with someone who has a real sense of humor.

Raven: Dick.

Max: *face palm*

Raven: Dick palm.

Max: I lost faith in all my friends.

Raven: Win.

[A/N – But seriously, PM me your parody for tomorrow's Random and Halloween day Random]


	7. Just One More Day! ONE MORE!

**A HALLOW-CHRISTMAS**

Leon: Every Halloween is the same. I'm tired of the obvious scare that comes with this holiday.

Liz: What is it that you have in mind?

Leon: I may have a few ideas. But I need the help of a certain snow tabby.

**-Hours later-**

Ezekiel: The fuck? *sees snow everywhere in his office*

Leon: Trick-or-treat douche bag! *throws snowball*

Nathan: Best idea ever!

Cody: This is for that cheap game show you got us trapped in! *dumps an arm full of snow*

**NIGHT OF THE LIVING JAKE**

Chance: Hey buddy.

Jake: *dead expression*

Chance: You okay?

Jake: Not really… I just feel a little strange.

Chance: You know what you need, a nice nap. Why not just take a break for today?

Jake: I can't. There's just too much that needs to be done.

Chance: No way, you just head on to your room and take the day off. You look awful. I'll have Edge look after ya and Leon will help me.

**-A time leap-**

Edge: Jake isn't looking any better. He's still deadly sick. Maybe he got something from yesterday's attack from Viper.

Leon: Whatever he has, I don't want to catch it.

Chance: What are you doing down here anyways?

Edge: Jake wanted me to get something he left in the hangar. Something about helping him relax and to dispose of these nasty rags of his mucus.

Chance: Make it quick. Just be glad a storm is gonna kick in and slow down business.

Leon: Doesn't look like I'll be going home anytime soon.

**-The Hangar-**

Edge: Jake said it was near his new invention… Aha! Hmm… *finds two bottles with no labels* What did Jake say again?

Jake: _It's by my invention. Be sure to…ugh…this headache is gonna kill me._

Edge: Really helpful babe… Fuck it. I'll just take this Red one. Red usually means health, right?

**-Few hours later-**

Chance: Jake's been silent for a long time. Whatever he made you get really must have worked.

Edge: Worked faster than I expected it to do.

Leon: What do you mean by that?

Edge: Well, when Jake drank the bottle of medicine, he quickly knocked out. Never seen him look so relaxed.

Leon: Umm… I don't think-

Chance: What was that noise?

Edge: Came from Jake's room.

*All three approach the door*

Leon: I hear growling.

Edge: *slowly opening door* Jake… You okay in there?

Jake: *low growl*

Edge: Jake?

Chance: You okay pal?

Leon: Yo Jake, you don't look like yourself.

Jake: *lunges as Leon and bites in the arm*

Leon: AHH!

Edge: What the hell has gotten into you Jake!?

Jake: *trying to attack Edge*

Chance: Edge!

Leon: Dammit… I don't feel so well…

Edge: Huh? Sorry babe. *punches Jake and runs out with Chance*

Chance: Lock the door behind ya!

Edge: Nah duh?

Leon: Jeez… How bad is it?

Chance: Jake really took a bite out of ya.

Leon: Not funny…

Edge: What are we gonna do. Jake is acting like a freaking zombie.

*realization sticking in*

Leon: I'm gonna become a zombie!?

Chance: Nobody said that.

Edge: But it could happen. I don't know how it happened to Jake but he's a zombie now. Which means he's… Oh God.

Chance: I don't want to think that Jake is dead. You said the thing you gave him knocked him out quickly. What type of bottle did you give him?

Edge: I don't know. There were two bottles by his new invention. I chose that red one because it seemed like the type Jake told me to get.

Chance: Didn't Jake tell you which bottle to get?

Edge: He tried, but his condition got the best of him. There is one bottle left so maybe that one will cure Jake.

Leon: Hello? Young tabby turning into an undead here. What about me?

Chance: We'll see what we can do.

Leon: That's fucking relieving!

Chance: Language…

Leon: Sorry…

**-The Hangar…again-**

Chance: This is where you got the bottle.

Edge: Yeah. The only one left is this green bottle…huh?

Chance: It's empty.

Edge: How could it be empty? It was full a couple hours ago.

*low growl*

Chance: What the hell!? *pounced on by zombie Jake*

Edge: Don't let him bite you!

Chance: No. I thought I would let him have a taste of my meat.

Edge: Not cool.

Chance: Gotta love innuendos. *kicks Jake off*

Edge: Nice job!

Chance: We aren't done yet.

Jake: *screeches loudly and everything goes silent*

Chance: That's some lung power.

Edge: Tell me about it…

Chance: Didn't need to know.

Edge: You started it…

*faint growl*

Chance: Huh…? *looking around*

Edge: Jake's just standing there. *takes a fighting stance* Now what do we do?

Chance: I don't think we'll be fighting Jake by himself.

Edge: What makes you say that?

Leon: *emerging from the darkness growling*

Edge: Ah…

Chance: Yeah…

Edge: Partner vs. partner?

Chance: Wouldn't want it any other way. *goes for Jake*

Edge: Let's go! *goes for Leon*

**-TO BE CONTINUED-**

**X3**

**CHANCESTEIN**

Dr. Ezekiel: My dream is to bring a kat to life with my own hands. This very science will achieve me that dream. All the parts are set and the timing couldn't be any better. Now if only that blunder of a fool could get here in time.

Leon: I'm back with the brain master!

Dr. Ezekiel: You almost ruined my precious creation you little twit!

Leon: Forgive me master.

Dr. Ezekiel: Forgive you? BAH! Just be glad I don't feed you to the rats.

Leon: I am very humble that you don't.

Dr. Ezekiel: *places brain in place* Now to wait for the perfect moment.

*Thunder sounds and light flashes*

Leon: The storm is now upon us master.

Dr. Ezekiel: I see that! Now out of my way! *walks up to inventions* The moment has come. Soon, my creation will live and breathe.

*pulls on levers and adjusts mechanisms to position his machine in place*

Dr. Ezekiel: Leon! What's the condition of the storm?

Leon: *sticking metal rod toward the sky* Umm…

**-BZZZT-**

Leon: *****dazed*I wanted a stuffed pony as a kitten.

Dr. Ezekiel: Excellent…

*lightning strikes his machines and electricity runs toward his creation.

Dr. Ezekiel: It's working…

Leon: I think now would be a good time to mention about the brain master.

Dr. Ezekiel: Quiet you twit! Can't you see I'm trying to have a moment?

*body moves*

Dr. Ezekiel: Look! It's moving. *body comes to life* It's alive. It's alive…it's moving, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, IT'S ALIVE!

Leon: In the name of God!

Dr. Ezekiel: Oh, in the name of God! Now I know what it feels like to _be _God!

Leon: Now you're just over your head.

Dr. Ezekiel: Did you just backtalk to your master?

Leon: I'll be good.

Dr. Ezekiel: Just look at him… A living kat. A living kat created from body parts of the dead. Don't you see what this means?

Leon: That Fullmetal Alchemist was a lying anime?

Dr. Ezekiel: No you imbecile! It means I gave life to something with science! I proved that there is no God. God isn't what gives and takes life. Kats give and take lives. It's the very nature that keeps our world in an endless cycle.

Leon: What do we name him?

Dr. Ezekiel: What do we name him? What should we name my son?

Leon: What?

Dr. Ezekiel: Yeah. I created him so he belongs to me.

Leon: I'm sorry. Who got all the pieces needed to create your 'son'? I did! I say he's our son.

Dr. Ezekiel: Fine… What should we name 'our' son?

Leon: Thank you.

Dr. Ezekiel: What about Frank.

Leon: Frank? We can't use that name. That's copy righting from the origin of this story.

Dr. Ezekiel: Okay. How about Chance? Chancestein for short.

Leon: For short?

Dr. Ezekiel: Don't question my methods peasant!

Leon: Hrm…

Chancestein: Grr…

Dr. Ezekiel: He's going to say his first word. *gushing*

Chancestein: Zeke… Kill… Zeke…

Dr. Ezekiel: Huh? What's this?

Leon: Oh yeah… I was going to tell you that I didn't get the brain you wanted. I killed the very first person I saw and used his brain instead. Strange enough…I had no problem killing Cody. I'm guessing his memory passed down from when you cheated on him in that quiz game.

Dr. Ezekiel: Fantastic…

-**TO BE CONTINUED?-**

**KINGDOM HEARTS…?**

Leon (dressed sort of like Squall*): You're not getting away that easy!

*Heartless is slain*

Leon: Huh? What was that?

Sora: How's it going Leon?

Leon: Do I know you?

Sora: Oh come on! Don't tell me you forgot about me already?

Ezekiel: I think you're mistaking Leon for a different Leon.

Sora: Whoa! You're a cool looking cat person. Are you friends with Leon?

Ezekeil: Huh?

Leon: I do not like this short cross over.

*Squall is from Final Fantasy 8, but also was in the Kingdom Hearts series for those who didn't know. Please ignore this tidbit info if it was irrelevant to you.

**LEFT 4 DEAD**

Cody: Ammo over here!

Liz: Reloading!

Leon: Med-kit over here!

Nathan: HUNTER!

*guns turn and fire*

Blitz: *cowering*

Exile: I did not now of danger here!

Shag: *whimpering*

Collien: What now Huntie-wontie?

Hunter: This _is_ an unexpected twist.

**Loved the ideas I was given and please keep them coming for Halloween day. I will finish the ones that left a huge cliff hangar. I did that cuz I got lazy and I know how DNV feels about them. Been a long time since I've done that. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! One more day to Halloween.**

**HAPPY HALLOWS EVE!**

**Raven: **You forgot to put anything with penis in it.

**Gerardo: **And my suggestion too.

**DEL: **I don't do the lazy man's comedy.


	8. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**

**The first script on this section is not my own and it rightfully belongs to Scott R., creator of VGCats. Hehe… But the continuing section of those that were left on the previous Random chapter will begin…a few scripts down. LOL! Sorry DNV.**

**CLIFFHANGERS OF HORROR!**

**STARS'N'SARS**

Leon: It's been almost two weeks since the outbreak. The Media has forecast the very worst.

Reporter: _Sources say that the city's entire population has been wiped out by the disease, and remember! Trust CNN… Trust CNN…_

Leon: And I'm here in the middle of it. Here in this hell hole that is… TORONTO!

-RESIDENT EVIL TORONTO-

Civilian: *cough*

Leon: *shoots* TAKE THAT SARS ZOMBIE!

Ezekiel: I don't think that was a zombie. In fact, I think CNN might have over-blown this SARS thing just a _tad_.

Leon: Nerds. Got blood all over my pants. You're probably ri- HOLY CRAP! WHERE'S YOUR SARS MASK!?

Ezekiel: Where's yours?

Leon: Oh crap… OH CRAP! IT MUST HAVE FALLEN OFF! SARS thingies… Infesting… Brain… Everything… Getting dark… GAK! *flop*

Ezekiel: *smirk* *pillage* What the hell? This thing is empty!

Leon: No! My subway stamps…

**Personality Change**

Jake: Just look at them.

Chance: Every Halloween. Why do they do that every Halloween?

Jake: I tried asking them but they just gave me candy and smiled. I'm a little scared by them.

Leon: Scared of whom?  
Chance: Burk and Murray? For the longest time…I thought they were brothers.

**READERS COMPLAINT**

**[A/N – From an actual complaint about chapter two or something, so I decided to have some fun with his "complaint".]**

Anonymous: I want to point out that getting Callie drunk and making her do things she wasn't aware of is just wrong.

*heavy bondage user stands behind him*

Anonymous: Rape is never funny.

**NIGHT OF THE LIVING JAKE**

On the last chapter…

Jake felt sick.

Edge did something unknowingly to Jake.

Leon was bit due to carelessness.

Chance and Edge went to find cure.

And now a fight between friends will commence.

Jake: *lunges yet again*

Chance: *sidesteps, grabs Jake, and tosses him over head*

Edge: *avoiding Leon's quick actions*

Leon: *do I have to explain again*

Edge: Jeez… No matter how much we beat them up, these two just keep getting up!

Chance: *barely dodges claws* We need to cage them up! Or slow them down a least!

Edge: Slow down! That's it!

Chance: Huh?

Edge: *runs to table and picks up glovatrix.* Let's hope I choose the right one… *fires a missile that blinds Leon in black ooze*

Chance: Edge! *Jake on top of Chance and trying to bite*

Edge: *fires the same missile and making contact on Jake*

Chance: That couldn't be any closer?

Edge: But we still have the problem of not having what we need to cure them. Besides, we have to find out quick cuz that ooze won't hold them down long.

*rummaging*

*ransacking*

*searching*

*…*

*another word for searching frantically*

Chance: Found anything yet?

Edge: Nothing…

Chance: What do we do? It's not like Jake knew this would happen.

Edge: All Jake said was that something by his invention would help him. But what? All I found was this cold medicine.

Chance: What? *glaring*

Edge: Oops…

Chance: What the hell!? You gave Jake something that turned him into a zombie cuz you thought it was on the table!?

Edge: Hey! I'm a piece of work that still needs to be tweaked.

Chance: Oh you're a piece alright…

Edge: What was that?

Chance: You heard me!

Edge: *punches Chance* It's not like I meant for this to happen!

Chance: Then you shouldn't have been so careless!

Edge: DON'T YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT!?

Chance: *sighs* I'm sorry… We can't fight over this while Jake and Leon are…zombies.

Edge: I just wish I knew what Jake meant and this wouldn't have happened. *leans on table* Wait a minute…

Chance: What is it?

Edge: This…this note… JAKE!

Chance: Note? *reads note*

*burst of laughter*

Leon: Oh God… I didn't think this would have worked!

Jake: Took you guys a while to find that note. I thought we were going to have to literally turn you guys bloody.

Chance: All of this… It was all a prank? You guys are fucked up!

Leon: Language…

Chance: Shove it up your ass!

Leon: *rolls eyes*

Jake: So… Can you guys get us down?

Edge: Maybe later. I'm in the mood for some pizza.

Chance: Nothing better to do than that.

Leon: You guys can't just leave here!

Jake: It was just a harmless prank!

Chance: Tell that to my soar ass!

Edge: And you'll be getting that treatment later.

Leon: Still too much info…

Jake: What!? But…just leaving us here is like flipping us off!

Chance: How do you thing the readers feel?

-**END-**

**Final Evolutions**

Leon the Charmander: What do you guys think? *dressed as Charzard with paper wings and twigs for small horns*

Ezekiel the Squirtle: Not bad… But I'm better. *wearing a blue cap with stubs for ears and white paper towel rolls for cannons*

Nathan the Bulbasaur: Just shut up and finish paining my leaves. *long paper green leaves and paper pink flower with construction yellow paper center*

Cody: I don't get paid enough to take teenagers trick-or-treating… *face palm*

**CHANCESTEIN**

Before…

Dr. Ezekiel talks too much.

Leon is slave to Dr. Ezekiel?

Chancestein comes to life.

Leon tells that the brain belongs to Cody.

Dr. Ezekiel: How's he doing in his cell Leon?

Leon: He's doing a lot better today. I went to go feed him and he didn't call me a prick.

Dr. Ezekiel: So his mood has been elevated a bit.

Leon: Nope. Chancestein still wishes to kill you.

Dr. Ezekiel: I see… So what should we do? I can't have him stay in the dungeon forever. The villagers are already being restless from my abomination's yelling and roaring.

Leon: Maybe if you let him wonder his home like I suggested…

Dr. Ezekiel: Are you mad!? He'll kill me for sure!

Leon: He's not the only one who wants you dead.

Dr. Ezekiel: True… The village does have distastes against me. Leon! Send a peace gift to the village mayor to cause less restlessness against me and my science.

Leon: As you wish master.

-Cell Block-

Leon: But before I go… *peeps from the corner of the wall* Hey Chance…

Chancestein: *grunt*

Leon: How you feeling? *avoids thrown plate* I see you're pretty mad.

Chancestein: Kill…

Leon: I understand you want Ezekiel dead but you have to understand… *painfully putting on a smile* He's…not a terrible…kat… *gags* Almost threw-up.

Chancestein: Kill… Must kill… Free… Now!

Leon: What?

Chancesteing: Free! Free!

Leon: Free what? You have something that's free! I want it! *opens cell block and quickly gets grabbed*

*thrashing and bashing*

-An hour later-

Dr. Ezekiel: *coming down to the cell block* What the… LEON!

Leon: *from the ground* Hello…

Dr. Ezekiel: What happened here and why is there a gapping hole on the wall!? Furthermore, where is Chancestein?

Leon: He was an animal! I thought Chance was going to give me something for free but when I opened the cell, he grabbed me and imagined all over me!

Dr. Ezekiel: And the peace gift?

Leon: *points to rear*

-Village (Farm)-

Chancestein: Ugh… *sees someone*

Liz: Hmm… What was that? *goes to check and finds nothing* That was odd…

Chancestein: *sneaking past*

Edge: Hey Liz!

Liz: Oh… Hey Edge.

Edge: You can't be outside. The guy from the creepy castle came down and told us about an escaped monster. The town's folk are gathering around to hunt it down.

Liz: A monster? You know just as well as I do. That doctor scientist is nuttier than a squirrel with an acorn during winter.

*rustling*

Edge: Liz… Get inside.

Liz: By myself?

Edge: Well someone has to check on that noise.

Liz: Don't you watch horror movies? Those who follow the ominous noise end up killed or severely hurt until they die.

Edge: That's just Hollywood. *follows noise*

-Village (Town)-

M. Manx: Are you sure about this Feral? It could just be a lie. *nervous laugh*

Feral: You know that Dr. Ezekiel never lies about his creations.

D. M. Callie: He's right. This Chancestein creature will be terrible for tourism. And you know how that goes Mayor Manx.

M. Manx: I want this monster captured and taken care of.

Feral: With pleasure.

-Village (Fields)-

Dr. Ezekiel: Do you see him yet?

Leon: *carrying Ezekiel like Krunk from Kuzcos New Groove* Nothing… God you're heavy.

Dr. Ezekiel: He's got to be around here somewhere. The town's activity should have scared him off here.

Leon: Maybe you're expectations are just too high.

Dr. Ezekiel: You know me. I always set them that high because I know it will happen.

*Chancestein heads for old mill*

Leon: That's just luck.

Dr. Ezekiel: Follow that monster!

Leon: Look. We're not the only one that found him here.

*Town's Folk surround old mill*

Dr. Ezekiel: Drat… They move quickly.

Feral: We have the monster surrounded. Now let us end the abomination once and for all.

Liz: Wait! We can't just kill him. This creature is probably just misunderstood.

Leon: *from the distance* That creature almost ripped me apart!

Liz: Quit your bitching.

Feral: No matter. That thing is going down.

Chancestein: Run. Can't run. People. Too many.

Dr. Ezekiel: It's a shame to see this happen.

Leon: I'm not. Dude was a monster.

Dr. Ezekiel: But aren't we the monsters for thinking that creatures like Chancestein could cause so much harm and destruction; the very nature of distrust in the hearts of all kats?

Leon: Yup.

Dr. Ezekiel: Just making sure I understood what was going on.

-**END-**

Dr. Ezekiel: Wait…what? That's it!?

Leon: We know what happens. Just let it go.

**I just want to say Happy Halloween to all readers and users of fanfiction. And now, for Cody's special treat!**

**KINKY!**


End file.
